A Great Sex Life is Not Just About the Sex

Say what? Yes, a great sex life is more than just the sex or the act of it; there is a whole lot more to it.

Helena Green, Clinical Sexologist and Counsellor, has 10 tips that will light the fire in your sex life and enhance intimacy.

1. Sloooow down

Sometimes it takes longer to warm up. If with a partner, encourage each other to enjoy slow foreplay! This warm-up phase of sex play should last for as long as you need; the goal of sexual contact does not have to always be sexual intercourse – you can enjoy your own company, or if with a partner, there is much else you can do…enjoy the journey!

2. Kiss, Kiss and Kiss

Kiss sweetly, tightly and lightly, passionately and hungrily, quickly and sloppily, or slowly and contentedly. Play, have fun, enjoy all kinds of kisses – this will help you bond with and warm up to your partner, while you both enjoy the moment.

3. Appreciate, Decorate and Celebrate

For our own and if in a relationship, your partner's body. Use your imagination, again…have fun! Use jewellery, lingerie, feathers, fringe, silk, velvet, massage oil, candlelight, whatever is safe, looks good and feels good.

4. Do Fun and Sexy Things

Long before you hit the sheets; dance, prepare and enjoy a sensuous meal, hold hands while walking if in a relationship, enjoy non-sexual touch and massages. Visit lingerie or adult shops. Allow yourself to have lots of sexy thoughts, and if with a partner, leave sexy notes in each other’s pockets, and each other little gifts. Singles can buy themselves a special gift, something that brings you pleasure or enjoyment.

5. Do Sexy Things to Yourself

To get yourself in the mood, wear those special clothes that make you feel good! Work out, walk and swim. Dance. Fantasize. Read a sexy story, or maybe write out all the sexy things you want to do together. Think sexy – be sexy! For women…and perhaps men…consider spending some time humming with your vibrator (if you have one) or time for just self-pleasuring.

6. Loving During High Energy Times

Midnight sex may work for some, while a sex date with yourself or another in the morning or afternoon is a delight for others. (Why do you think they call it ‘afternoon delight’?).

7. Explore Sex Toys and Other Erotic Helpers

For those who wish to experiment, or perhaps those who need extra help, consider the many different variety of sex toys – they are easy to find, fun to try.

8. Use a Silky Lubricant if Necessary

Sometimes, the use of a lubricant is an essential ingredient to sexual play. This is especially so for women who are not so young, and don't have the natural moisture of youth. There are many different lubricants that feel great and bring back the joy of friction. When the partner applies it, it becomes an erotic part of sex play.

9. Enjoy Quality ‘Warm’ Time

This is a time of enjoying the warmth, contentment and peace. It isn't just for couples, but if you're in a relationship, it can help build closeness, emotional intimacy, and bonding: snuggle before, during, and after your sexual play. Holding each other, feeling the warmth and texture of each other’s skin, can be a sweet and sexy part of making love. As a single, just allow yourself to bask in your own warmth and the peace of being.

10. Laugh a Lot

Play silly games, invent special words, playfully tease yourself or another intimate partner, and rediscover your ‘inner adult child’. Laughter is relaxing, promotes peace and bonding...it's joyful, ageless – and sexy.

Spice it up and have a good laugh with Position of the Day : Sex Every Day in Every Way 

This post originally appeared on inSync for Life: Ten Tips for Enhancing Sexual Pleasure by Helena Green, adapted from Joan Price, and is reproduced here with permission.


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